Dear future generations,
Somewhere in the shadows, in the dark recesses of our apartment, there lies an ancient beast of wonder. The natives worship this creature with a mixed sense of fear and astonishment. The beast is relatively docile by nature, spending many a night wistfully reflecting on its place in the universe, oh and also Teen Mom, actually quite a bit of Teen Mom, probably more Teen Mom than the universe stuff when you stop and think about it, anyway, if provoked it can become extremely aggressive. If you happen to misspeak or are simply too stupid for it to handle, be prepared for an onslaught of debate and unrelenting argumentative behavior. If this occurs never look into it’s enormous glassy bug-like eyes for they will surely nip at your soul until you are nothing but a shell of a man. It is unproven, yet some believe that the only way to tame this savage beast is through several warm pots of rejuvenating tea and ample back massages. I’ve spent a lifetime of research, living on the outskirts of the beast’s natural habitat, trying to understand its ways, giver and receiver of many loving hugs in its ferocious grasps. For as many questions I am able to resolve, more and more mysteries are abounded with each passing day.