by Darius on April 30, 2012
This past Saturday, we went on a epic culinary adventure through both time and space. Drunken with child-like wonderment, we gorged on exotic novelties and rarities throughout the day. It was amazing. Tragic. Life-altering.
In the morning, we broke fast in the “we trust in god”-fearing, USA-loving, world of Whataburger. We had egg sandwiches and hashbrowns.
By midday we watched online viral videos to the point of exhaustion so we needed to refuel quickly. In my stupor, I dreamt of a peaceful kingdom where hotdogs and tacos coexisted without the threat of war or terror. When I awoke I knew where we must travel. In my vision I gained knowledge of the route to a long-forgotten place, where Wienerschnitzel and Taco Bell, two grand sister-cities, existed in a magical matrimony. There we got corn dogs, chili dogs, bean and cheese burritos, and our first quest item of the day – the Dorito Locos Taco. Yes, a taco whose shell, through arcane wizardry, had been enchanted with Dorito dust!
We had experienced the kind of flavors we thought only existed in children’s bedtime stories. The point of no return had been reached yet we would soon learn that things had only just begun. That night we journeyed to the Alamo Drafthouse for a feast of celebration and Marathon Screening of Adventure Time. Mastermind Pendleton Ward and character-conjurer Tom Kenny (voice of the Ice King and also of Spongebob Squarepants fame) were in attendance. Gastronomical alchemist chef John Bullington had prepared a once-in-a-lifetime multi-course Adventure Time themed meal. The contents of which are written on the ancient scroll below:
By some fortuitous method or mysterious bewitching, we made it through the entire menu unscathed. And for our quest, we were rewarded with the amazing poster below by Dave Perillo:
Here are pictures that Mondo took of the three course of food at the feast (source):